I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
