Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
