Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize