I wish I could punch you in the face.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
