therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
