yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dignity is for republicans.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
