sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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