My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
