i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
