hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
