i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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