so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
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Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize