I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
