were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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