I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it because I queefed?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
