U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
