I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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