Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
