i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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