Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
