You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize