That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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