Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
