i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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