he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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