just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
