i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
