VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just gargled with NyQuil
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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