Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize