Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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