i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
