he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
