you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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