Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
