I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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