I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
