i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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