We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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