He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize