Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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