girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
