oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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