i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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