My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
