I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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