I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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