I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Pooping to opera.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
