let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize