i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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