i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Randomize
