Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
