My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
