I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
