2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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