I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
