...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
