Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
