Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
