just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
