he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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